Please help celebrate my 22nd birthday with me!
Janet's Birthday for a Cause
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
There are some days when I just get blasted by nostalgia. Today... One of those days haha. But something's different. Less of bitter, more of sweet? There isn't a certain memory or person I'm lulling over, and there's no residue of the coulda-woulda-shouldas. I'm enjoying who I am and the story that made this person.
I won't let my past dictate my present. However, I won't forget or discard where I come from and what I've seen and done. As hard as it can be sometimes, I'll live in gratitude of all that makes me into me.
I'm recognizing the reality of the control I have over my life and that I'm even responsible for my sense of individuality, peace, happiness.
It's up to me to allow or refuse my past, my mistakes to control me. It's TIRING to try and be someone I'm not and don't even like to be, attempting to compensate for worth I never lacked. Man it feels awesome to actually like me for ME, to be totally fine being in my own skin. I like that I'm awkward. I like that I can love, as minuscule as it can be. I like that I'm even oversensitive, because I'd rather be so than apathetic. I like that I'm actually an introvert, and that it's okay to want to be alone, it's okay to not be constantly outgoing. I like that I have all the ability, potential, and intelligence to do anything I put my heart and mind into.
Daily, it's OUR decision - no one else to blame - to be disabled by guilt and shame, paralyzed with fear, because of our pains and failures. We can just as simply choose to live in that freedom which comes from having some real faith in ourselves.
Yeah so news flash: I'm imperfect. I always have been and I always will be. But there's so much freedom in being okay with that and choosing to believe in my utmost value and potential - unconditional to what people think about me and what my past and my failures say about me.
It's my right to look forward with hope, to recognize my worth, and to fulfill my potential in all areas of life. As human beings, don't we deserve at least this?
"Morning of America" - Blue Scholars
"Reflections and questions and not enough answers
The rise of gang banging was the death of the Panthers
Short shorts, tube socks, city a boondocks
Everywhere somebody trying to moon walk
Rocksteady Crew, jams with Steve Pool
Sight beyond sight
Yo I pulled roots like Super Mario 2
A bowl full of Cheerios
Looking back just say no was not enough
To sweep dust under carpet when the visitors came
Cities became, and temporary wealth manifested in chains
MJ became chosen, free Mandela was the slogan of the moment
To the mobile DJs with the pompadour fades
Rocking Debbie Deb and Stevie P all day
When I hear music I can't wait to rock
New shoes nothing less than some fresh high tops and
Things happen for a reason they say
But I say there's a reason things happen
And it wasn't all good way back in the day
Struggled then struggled now still standing
Things happen for a reason they say
But I say there's a reason things happen
And it wasn't all good way back in the day
Struggled then struggled now still standing
Come on
On and on like the song goes
I wonder if we've took the wrong road
And it seems like so long ago
But you know where to go if you ever come home
Now on and on like the song goes
And I wonder if we've took the wrong road
And it seems like so long ago
But you know where to go if you ever come home"
I won't let my past dictate my present. However, I won't forget or discard where I come from and what I've seen and done. As hard as it can be sometimes, I'll live in gratitude of all that makes me into me.
I'm recognizing the reality of the control I have over my life and that I'm even responsible for my sense of individuality, peace, happiness.
It's up to me to allow or refuse my past, my mistakes to control me. It's TIRING to try and be someone I'm not and don't even like to be, attempting to compensate for worth I never lacked. Man it feels awesome to actually like me for ME, to be totally fine being in my own skin. I like that I'm awkward. I like that I can love, as minuscule as it can be. I like that I'm even oversensitive, because I'd rather be so than apathetic. I like that I'm actually an introvert, and that it's okay to want to be alone, it's okay to not be constantly outgoing. I like that I have all the ability, potential, and intelligence to do anything I put my heart and mind into.
Daily, it's OUR decision - no one else to blame - to be disabled by guilt and shame, paralyzed with fear, because of our pains and failures. We can just as simply choose to live in that freedom which comes from having some real faith in ourselves.
Yeah so news flash: I'm imperfect. I always have been and I always will be. But there's so much freedom in being okay with that and choosing to believe in my utmost value and potential - unconditional to what people think about me and what my past and my failures say about me.
It's my right to look forward with hope, to recognize my worth, and to fulfill my potential in all areas of life. As human beings, don't we deserve at least this?
"Morning of America" - Blue Scholars
"Reflections and questions and not enough answers
The rise of gang banging was the death of the Panthers
Short shorts, tube socks, city a boondocks
Everywhere somebody trying to moon walk
Rocksteady Crew, jams with Steve Pool
Sight beyond sight
Yo I pulled roots like Super Mario 2
A bowl full of Cheerios
Looking back just say no was not enough
To sweep dust under carpet when the visitors came
Cities became, and temporary wealth manifested in chains
MJ became chosen, free Mandela was the slogan of the moment
To the mobile DJs with the pompadour fades
Rocking Debbie Deb and Stevie P all day
When I hear music I can't wait to rock
New shoes nothing less than some fresh high tops and
Things happen for a reason they say
But I say there's a reason things happen
And it wasn't all good way back in the day
Struggled then struggled now still standing
Things happen for a reason they say
But I say there's a reason things happen
And it wasn't all good way back in the day
Struggled then struggled now still standing
Come on
On and on like the song goes
I wonder if we've took the wrong road
And it seems like so long ago
But you know where to go if you ever come home
Now on and on like the song goes
And I wonder if we've took the wrong road
And it seems like so long ago
But you know where to go if you ever come home"
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